Where to start.

I was changing Jonna’s diaper (pretty constant around here…girlfriend pees a lot) and George’s curious nature showed itself…

“Mommy, why does Jonna have two butts?”

I don’t even know where to begin. Except maybe, that’s not a butt.


We stopped at McDonalds; it’s just too easy when the kids are hungry! George was not giving Julius fries. So Julius starts screeching, of course….


George (to Julius): “No, you can’t have any fries, Julius.”

Me: “George, quit being a dictator.”

Ross cracks up.

Me: “What…?”

Ross: “I thought you were going to say ‘Quit being a dick,’ and that would have been awesome.”

I haven’t yet resorted to calling my child a dick. But I’ve been close.

Dropping the hammer

We have this “Story of Mom & Dad” book that we read to George before bed. It tells the story of how Ross and I met and fell in love and how he came to be. The first part of the book talks about how we met at a bar (we were set up and it was a group outing). I was reading the story to George before bed tonight and this was our conversation:

George:”Mom, why did you and dad go play darts without me?”

Me:”Well, you weren’t born yet. You were in mommy’s heart at that time. Then you were in mommy’s belly, and then you came out.”

George:”Yep, I was in your belly and I hammered my way out. I hit your belly with the hammer until it broke. Then I ate all my vegetables and grew really big and strong.”

I fucking love kids. Boy kids.