George: “Mommy! Something is stuck in my teeth! I need a fossil!”
Me: “What?”–long pause–“I think you mean a flosser.“
We stopped at McDonalds; it’s just too easy when the kids are hungry! George was not giving Julius fries. So Julius starts screeching, of course….
George (to Julius): “No, you can’t have any fries, Julius.”
Me: “George, quit being a dictator.”
Ross cracks up.
Ross: “I thought you were going to say ‘Quit being a dick,’ and that would have been awesome.”
I haven’t yet resorted to calling my child a dick. But I’ve been close.
We have this “Story of Mom & Dad” book that we read to George before bed. It tells the story of how Ross and I met and fell in love and how he came to be. The first part of the book talks about how we met at a bar (we were set up and it was a group outing). I was reading the story to George before bed tonight and this was our conversation:
George:”Mom, why did you and dad go play darts without me?”
Me:”Well, you weren’t born yet. You were in mommy’s heart at that time. Then you were in mommy’s belly, and then you came out.”
George:”Yep, I was in your belly and I hammered my way out. I hit your belly with the hammer until it broke. Then I ate all my vegetables and grew really big and strong.”
I fucking love kids. Boy kids.
George wanted to play with me (like always) but I was working (like always).
Me: [Working on the computer] “She’s in Phoenix…so what is that, Mountain Time?”
George:”It’s not Mountain Time. It’s Play Time.”